Be Patient with Patience….

Lately, I really feel like my patience is being tested. Working from home and taking care of a 3.5 and 5 month old is trying at times (to say the least). Although I try to stay calm and use appropriate discipline strategies there are some days where I really feel like I am going out of my mind and all rationalization goes out the window. Patience is certainly not my number one trait but it is something I recognize as being fundamental to surviving these years with young kids as well as an essential life-long trait.

Learning to be patient is not only important with children but in all areas of your life: work, marriage, school, relationships, money etc… The list can go on and on. What I have learned about patience is that it is a skill that requires A LOT of practice. Our first impulse with many things is to just do it, buy it, forget about it, etc.. But if we wait long enough our decision may change. For example, if I go into a store and see an item I want or “think” I need I can either buy it right there on the spot OR I can wait a week and see if I still want it. Chances are come the following week I will realize I probably don’t really need it and never end up getting it anyway.

Patience is skill because it requires practice, the use of new abilities and changing one’s mindset. It may require learning new techniques such as counting to ten to help control your temper or stepping away to give you a new perspective. Once we learn new techniques that can help us be more patient it is up to us to decide if we are going to use this new skill. When faced with a challenge or unplanned event we must decide how we want to respond to this new situation. We can blow up, get angry and storm away or we can take a step back, breathe and look at our situation in a new light. How we react has to do with both our skill set and decision making abilities.

Although some people are much more patient than others, I believe it is an area where all of us could use some improvement on in some way, shape or form. So below are a few suggestions on how we can become more patient.

• Alter the way you think about the situation. Instead of getting angry because you have to wait in line or wait for an appointment look at is as a gift and an opportunity to do something that you normally wouldn’t have the chance to do. It might be a good time to make your grocery list, figure out weekend plans, play a game, do a crossword or just a chance to be still and reflect.

• Plan accordingly. Keep in mind that things happen. Delays and setbacks are going to occur and the more you tell yourself this the better off you will be. Leave more than enough time when going somewhere because you never know what kind of traffic you will run into. Expect plans to change at a notice’s moment (especially if you have kids) and be willing to roll with the punches. Change your mindset and expect delays and setbacks to occur.

• Set limits. Many times we become impatient because we realize we are running out of time and not going to get everything done. Don’t set yourself up failure but rather be more conscious of time and only plan things that fit in. Trying to do too much in too little time is a recipe for disaster. Be mindful of your time, prioritize and schedule events/activities/tasks that are most important to you.

• Step away. When you feel your bodying clenching or going into a rage then walk away. Leave the room or area you are in for a few minutes and breathe. Count to ten and clear your mind. Just leaving the environment or situation can help you gain composure.

• Be patient with patience. Remind yourself why you are working so hard on becoming more patient. Are you trying to improve your relationships? Better health? Improved working conditions? Whatever it is constantly remind yourself of all the good things that come out of being patient. Instead of getting frustrated about an unplanned situation look at as an opportunity to practice your patience.

Well that’s it for now. Hope these tips are helpful and remind yourself that being patient requires practice and hard work. Don’t beat yourself up if you find you are being inpatient. Instead, learn from your mistake and make a commitment to handling it better next time! Please feel free to share ways or techniques you use to help improve your patience.