“Efficient Action”

“Do, every day, ALL that can be done that day.” This statement by Wallace D. Wattles taken from The Science of Getting Rich made me think more about the impact of our actions. Is what I am doing right now moving me closer or further away from my goals? This is the question that came to my mind. Do our actions support our goals? What are YOU trying to achieve? To find your passion, increase your income, lose more weight, get physically fit, develop better relationships with your kids or spouse, etc. Whatever our goals we cannot start to work towards them without painting the picture. Clarifying what it is we truly want AND then taking the consistent action every single day that moves us toward our goal.

For some of us we are taking action every single day but we are not seeing the results?? We are busy, busy, busy spending a lot of our time and energy in our busyness mode but are not moving anywhere fast. In fact, we are left feeling depleted and like a failure because at the end of day we feel we did not get it all done. But the truth is if we change our mindset, get clear on what it is we want and show up doing ALL that we can do we will start seeing different results. Getting clear, believing in what we are working toward and taking inspired action every day will allow us to create the life we envision. Below is an insert taken from The Science of Getting Rich which sums up efficient action.

“There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe. A thought in this substance produces the thing that is imaged by the thought. A person can form things in his thought, and, by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created. In order to do this, a person must pass from the competitive to the creative mind. He must form a clear mental picture of the things he wants, and must do -with faith and purpose -all that can be done each day, doing each separate thing in an efficient manner.”

If you are would like The Science of Getting Rich e-book feel free to sign up for Design Your Best Life Newsletter and receive it free. Click here to get your copy: http://www.lifecoachingdesigns.com/Resources/newsletter.html

Or email me at erin@lifecoachingdesigns.com for a copy.

Are You Up For The Challenge?

As a busy mom of two little ones at home and running a coaching business life is a juggling act. Although I would love to say I have balance in my life the truth of the matter is I do not always live a balanced life. As mentioned in another Life Coaching Designs blog post How Do We Balance it All “Life balance does not necessarily mean that every aspect of your life should be equal, but instead to have control that allows you to prioritize, make progress and feel a sense of calmness in our everyday lives.” Tips were listed in that post to help bring more balance back into your life.

Another great way to help create balance in your life is to make it a priority. In helping to make this a priority a company I currently work for called Compass is offering a 12-week challenge that will help bring balance back into your life! The challenge is called the “Remodel Your Reality Compass Challenge” and it includes:

• 12-week life coaching program designed to help you achieve success
• Daily online audio coaching with leading authors and experts
• A Personal Development Network (PDN) to help keep track of your progress
• FREE for the first 5 days

If you are interested in learning how you can bring balance back into your life click on the link below to get started! If you would like more information regarding this challenge or about the affordable group coaching programs I offer please contact me at: erin@lifecoachingdesigns.com or visit my compass site at: http://www.mylifecompass.com/coacherin

Remodel Your Reality Compass Challenge

Where Do I Start?

By Joseph & Viola Twelves

Perhaps you are one of the many people who have found yourself stuck in a rut and not sure how to even begin to dig yourself out of it.

One of the most common “ruts” that we end up in deals with our choice of profession or career. It’s something that, unfortunately, is often inevitable. Why? Because most of us didn’t have the guidance necessary growing up to help us make the best decision nor did we put the work into making that decision.
During those pivotal years of “growing up” it is normal to be more concerned about the contents of the vending machines in the cafeteria than the contents of our permanent school records. With that said, it’s important to have fun in the present while remembering that we have a long future ahead of us – a future that will seem even longer if we’re dragging our feet through a workday we can barely stand.

If you have found yourself in this situation, like countless others, here are 3 things to ponder as starting points to help dig yourself out of your situation:

1) Priorities / Likes / Dislikes: Get out a piece of paper and literally write down things you enjoy doing and hate doing. Get as detailed as you would like and cover anything from doing dishes to working with special needs children. Also, write a realistic list of your priorities and the things that you need for yourself and/or your family.

2) Ask Around: Talk to your peers, neighbors, friends and relatives about what they do. I don’t mean “How’s work going?” but really ask about what their job entails, their daily responsibilities, and what they enjoy (or dislike) about their job.

3) Reflect: Ponder and reflect about the things that you have learned about yourself and the potential professions that surround you. Think about these things in a quiet place. This is something that is not practiced enough and can really lead you to discovering important things about yourself that you didn’t take the time to realize before.

You might think career planning is a bore, but that process is downright thrilling compared to spending forty years in a career meant for someone else. It’s true that it takes work to find out what the best fit is for you, but it’s well worth the journey. Join the conversation, find even more resources to help you on your journey, and start getting yourself out of that rut!

Van Twelves and his family are the creators, writers and editors of the ultimate career resource guide Conversations: Find Your Niche!. They worked together for almost a decade on this family project that includes 150 interviews with working professionals, a research roadmap to guide you through, and countless resources to save you months of research. Their desire is to help people find the career best fit for them to help them find happiness in their work and life. Conversations: Find Your Niche! can be purchased at Amazon.com and the Twelves family can be reached via email at JoeTwelves@keeperpress.com as well as on Twitter @KeeperPress.

What’s Your Question?

As a coach, I often do homework inquiries with my clients. What are homework inquiries? They are powerful questions asked in between our coaching calls to help clarify or find answers to what you are seeking. They are meant to be used as a reflection exercise to explore an important area of your life for a period of time. Many times I ask my clients to post this question around their house, office, car and other various locations. This is to ensure they are thinking about their question during different times of the day and in different environments. It’s amazing what you can uncover if your truly focus on this one question.

For some people, meditation produces the same results especially if you tend to meditate for long periods throughout the day. You may be the type of person who meditates for an hour first thing in the morning and then again for another hour in the afternoon and/or evening. For others, just taking the time to reflect on your question in the morning and again before going to bed is enough. Whatever format you choose to use in exploring your question just make sure it works for you.

So what are the right questions to ask to help in this discovery process? There are millions of questions to choose from and creating your own question can also be quite effective. As a coach, I believe every person has the answers within but may need the right environment or system in place to help locate those answers. Designing your own question may be your best option because on some level you already know what you are seeking. For others, using inquiries given to you can also be just as effective in tapping into your creativity. Below are a few of the homework inquiries I use:

• What do you have to have in your life to feel whole or fulfilled?
• What does success mean to you?
• If I were at my best, what would I do right now?
• What type of life would I be living if I honored my values?
• What keeps me from winning or succeeding?

After jotting your question down and reflecting on it for a week or so you can even take it even one step further. For example, let’s take the question “What does success mean to you?”

1) When you figure out what your definition of success is then jot down reasons why this is important to you.
2) Next, think about the things you are willing to give or give up to help create this “success.”
3) List the challenges or obstacles that may stand in your way of reaching this success.
4) Lastly, be sure to write out the steps you are going to take to make it happen!

So I ask you “what is your question?” What answers are you seeking? Where do you feel stuck in your life right now? Take time to reflect on this and try to create your own question. Remember the answers lie within it just takes focus and perseverance to find them!

Be Patient with Patience….

Lately, I really feel like my patience is being tested. Working from home and taking care of a 3.5 and 5 month old is trying at times (to say the least). Although I try to stay calm and use appropriate discipline strategies there are some days where I really feel like I am going out of my mind and all rationalization goes out the window. Patience is certainly not my number one trait but it is something I recognize as being fundamental to surviving these years with young kids as well as an essential life-long trait.

Learning to be patient is not only important with children but in all areas of your life: work, marriage, school, relationships, money etc… The list can go on and on. What I have learned about patience is that it is a skill that requires A LOT of practice. Our first impulse with many things is to just do it, buy it, forget about it, etc.. But if we wait long enough our decision may change. For example, if I go into a store and see an item I want or “think” I need I can either buy it right there on the spot OR I can wait a week and see if I still want it. Chances are come the following week I will realize I probably don’t really need it and never end up getting it anyway.

Patience is skill because it requires practice, the use of new abilities and changing one’s mindset. It may require learning new techniques such as counting to ten to help control your temper or stepping away to give you a new perspective. Once we learn new techniques that can help us be more patient it is up to us to decide if we are going to use this new skill. When faced with a challenge or unplanned event we must decide how we want to respond to this new situation. We can blow up, get angry and storm away or we can take a step back, breathe and look at our situation in a new light. How we react has to do with both our skill set and decision making abilities.

Although some people are much more patient than others, I believe it is an area where all of us could use some improvement on in some way, shape or form. So below are a few suggestions on how we can become more patient.

• Alter the way you think about the situation. Instead of getting angry because you have to wait in line or wait for an appointment look at is as a gift and an opportunity to do something that you normally wouldn’t have the chance to do. It might be a good time to make your grocery list, figure out weekend plans, play a game, do a crossword or just a chance to be still and reflect.

• Plan accordingly. Keep in mind that things happen. Delays and setbacks are going to occur and the more you tell yourself this the better off you will be. Leave more than enough time when going somewhere because you never know what kind of traffic you will run into. Expect plans to change at a notice’s moment (especially if you have kids) and be willing to roll with the punches. Change your mindset and expect delays and setbacks to occur.

• Set limits. Many times we become impatient because we realize we are running out of time and not going to get everything done. Don’t set yourself up failure but rather be more conscious of time and only plan things that fit in. Trying to do too much in too little time is a recipe for disaster. Be mindful of your time, prioritize and schedule events/activities/tasks that are most important to you.

• Step away. When you feel your bodying clenching or going into a rage then walk away. Leave the room or area you are in for a few minutes and breathe. Count to ten and clear your mind. Just leaving the environment or situation can help you gain composure.

• Be patient with patience. Remind yourself why you are working so hard on becoming more patient. Are you trying to improve your relationships? Better health? Improved working conditions? Whatever it is constantly remind yourself of all the good things that come out of being patient. Instead of getting frustrated about an unplanned situation look at as an opportunity to practice your patience.

Well that’s it for now. Hope these tips are helpful and remind yourself that being patient requires practice and hard work. Don’t beat yourself up if you find you are being inpatient. Instead, learn from your mistake and make a commitment to handling it better next time! Please feel free to share ways or techniques you use to help improve your patience.

Do You Make Decisions Out Of Fear?

After writing about going back to school during a recession in my latest post on thecircle.org I was compelled to write more on my last point in the post. Basically, I discussed making a decision to return school based on fear. Many of us are panicked right now due to the economic downturn therefore we are making decisions out of fear. We may not realize it at the time but making decisions out of fear not only disregards our values but causes discontent in the long run.

Two things happen when we are fearful making decisions: either we procrastinate and put off making the decision or we jump in feet first without giving much thought to the decision. Although sometimes we need to take that leap to get over the hump and face our fears, the fact of the matter is some consideration is required in order to make an effective decision.

When we let our emotions like fear get the best of us we make decisions without considering other alternatives and take the first thing that is offered. When our fear is so great, reality can be distorted forcing us to make unrealistic decisions. We may also find ways to distract ourselves so we do not have to face the fear or the harsh realities of making an effective decision.

So what can we do to help make a better decision? First and foremost, we must experience the fear and understand what it feels like. When we are find ourselves resisting a decision or making a quick decision we should stop, breathe and focus our attention on this fear. Be aware of what is happening physically in your body. Do you feel muscles tightened or a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach? Notice what you are thinking while you are experiencing this fear. What is your inner critic saying to you?

• “You aren’t working hard enough”
• “I am not good or smart enough”
• “You should be further along in your career”
• “You’re not attractive enough, wealthy enough, experienced enough, old enough etc.”
• “You’re too old, young, bald, aggressive, passive, introverted, extroverted etc.”

Take the time to notice how this fear affects your actions. Think about whether decisions you made in the past were out of fear. What was the end result? Journal about your fears to discover the meaning behind them. These negative fearful voices inside of us keep us from either completing tasks or successfully reaching our goals.

Experiencing our fears allows us to notice when it’s present and may even lessen as time goes on. Although we may not 100% be able to rid ourselves from fear we can become more aware of it therefore allowing us to have more control over it. We can think through our decisions in a more methodical manner instead of making irrational decisions. Lastly, experiencing our fear and making the decision to do it anyway can be empowering!

Abuse in the Workplace

Last week I wrote a blog post at the circle.org about “Dealing with a Toxic Boss.” I provided some tips on ways you can deal with a toxic boss to help make your work environment more tolerable. There is no excuse for any type of abusive behavior in the workplace but unfortunately in today’s economy more people are stressed out trying to do their job with fewer resources and are taking it on others. Whether its bosses or employees people are turning to alternative means to get things done and they are hurting each other in the process.

As someone who has experienced a toxic boss myself, its heartbreaking listening to stories about the misery people are enduring due to their hostile work environments. This type of behavior has taken over some people’s lives and they fear going into work every day. Their boss’s mood determines their mood and they feel like they have to walk on pins and needles throughout the day. Absolutely by no means should anyone feel this way-at work or at home. Unfortunately this type of behavior has become the norm in some workplaces and is now considered “acceptable” behavior.

Although, I have listed some tips on the circle.org blog on how to deal with a toxic boss I thought it was important to point out the psychology behind a toxic boss. According to Newsweek “The Making of a Toxic Boss” they state: “Again they found that it’s the interaction of power and inadequacy that engenders abuse. Fast and Chen believe that this dynamic reinforces itself in the workplace, because people who gain power pressure themselves to perform at a higher level, and thus are more apt to feel inadequate in their powerful role. This threatens their ego, and they become defensive. Defensiveness often comes out in the form of insults or worse.

So what can you do about your toxic boss? According to Newsweek a “shot of self-worth” goes a long way in decreasing this toxic behavior. They go on to say that just a little praise was enough to reduce aggressive tendencies. In other words flatter your boss. However, too much flattery can be detrimental forcing your boss to lose touch with reality so know the right amount of flattery that will work on your boos and you may notice a much more pleasant work environment.

How Do We Balance It All?

I am not sure about you but some days I feel like tearing my hair out. Between working my business and juggling the demands of two young children I feel like nothing ever gets done. I am always in between tasks and rarely do I fully complete a task. Whether it is finishing up a work task, cleaning the house (which rarely gets done), or spending quality time with my children it is never at 100%.

Even as I write this post I’ve run upstairs three times to put my 3 month old daughter back to sleep for her nap. Now I am counting the minutes before my other daughter wakes up and starts her demands -hopefully not before I finish this post…..

So what about you? Do you feel like you have a good handle on juggling all your tasks? Or is it tough balancing work demands and life responsibilities? Well I am sure many of us are in the same boat and although we may not share the same exact set up at work or at home, many of us are still struggling to make it all work somehow.

How can we bring more balance back into our lives? How can we restore that control and start enjoying our lives more? I talk about life balance with my clients frequently. I need to start taking my own advice. Life balance does not necessarily mean that every aspect of your life should be equal, but instead to have control that allows you to prioritize, make progress and feel a sense of calmness in our everyday lives. Below are some tips that can help bring more balance back into our lives!

• Time Management. It is vital to prioritize our schedules because everything is not going to get done. Then accept this fact and make peace with it.

• Awareness. Be aware of what is happening around you. Whether it is at work or at home be present. You will be amaze at how much you THINK you need to do versus what actually is essential.

• Let Go. Let go of the idea that you HAVE to do this or do that. Let go of extra activities in your life that just are not that important. Sit down and reflect on what matters to you and cut out those unnecessary tasks, events, engagements etc. that do not fall under your “What Truly Matters” list.

• Respect The Different Aspects In Your Life. Whether it is family, work, or play have a time and place for everything. If you use a day planner, schedule in time for the various aspects in your life. You don’t have to give one area 100% or many areas only 10%. Instead, be aware of when it is time to stop working and then move on to spending time with family or engaging in a fun activity.

• Set Boundaries. If you work from home then be sure to set rules of when its work time, family time or play time. If you work in an office be sure to cut out any unnecessary “stuff” like chatting too much with co-workers; you will remain more focused, complete your work in a more timely manner and leave the office at a decent time.

• Just Say NO! Protect your time. It’s precious. If certain obligations or tasks do not fit into your life learn how to say no. Many of us over schedule or overextend ourselves and it is just not fair to ourselves or our families.

Well hope these tips were helpful and can help bring more balance back into your life. I know for me it was a good reminder and something I will follow from here on out. Please be sure to share other ways on how you balance your life!

(by the way just in case you were wondering I did finish this post before the kids woke up!!)

The Circle

Come join me at the Circle! I am a mentor under “Boost Your Career.” I post weekly career related blogs at the “Get Your Career Back on Track” circle. TheCircle.org is a goal-oriented social network with resources and support that can help you achieve your goals. You can meet other people with similar interests and find advice and encouragement to help you succeed. Once you register which is FREE you can ask questions and get advice on what steps to take to accomplish your goals. You can also be a member of several circles. Check out TheCircle.org here: http://www.thecircle.org/

Below is a list of blog posts from my cirle:

Work Kills
Challenge the Challenges
You Are NOT Your Career
Managing Career, Family and Other Life Roles
Get Your Plan On
Employers Plan to Hire
Brand Yourself for Career Success
Happy Works
What is Organizational Culture Anyway and How Do We Fit In?
Alternative Work Schedules
RIASEC-Understanding Career Environments
Do What You Are
The Value of Transferable Skills
Why Should I Hire You
Dealing With Career Change
How To Negotiate a Salary Offer
Interview Basics
Are You In The Right Job
Tips to Recession Proof Your Career
Generating Career Options
Creating an Effective Resume
Using Social Media in Your Job Search
Planning a Career Move
Career Challenges in Today’s Economy

About

Hi my name is Erin Suess (Coach Erin) creator of Life Coaching Designs. I am a life and career coach who helps people improve their personal and professional lives. My passion is to help guide individuals through a process of self-discovery that will un-lock their full potential and provide an environment for professional and personal development. Being that so much of what we do in our professional lives overlaps into our personal lives I address the WHOLE person. Although many of my clients seek me out to help make positive changes professionally we often work on other areas in their personal lives as well.

I have been working on improving people’s lives for over 12 years. I worked as an employment specialist for several years designing plans to help overcome employment difficulties and getting people’s lives back on track. I then moved into educational counseling and worked with individuals going back to school due to career changes. It was there in the higher education setting that I moved into management. I developed teams to produce at their highest potential by overcoming challenges and obstacles. As a manager I not only addressed professional development but worked with individuals on a personal level. As mentioned earlier, I found out long ago that you cannot address professional issues without dealing with the personal aspects as well.

During my time as a manager I went back to school to obtain my masters degree in Organizational Management. The information gained from my schooling was instrumental in leading productive teams and developing people both professionally and personally.

After having my first child I took a break from managing and decided to stay home for a year. It was during this time that I did a little soul searching and realized that I still wanted to continue helping people grow personally and professionally. However, I did not want to go back to working full-time for someone else-I wanted to help people on their terms without specific guidelines or rules from someone else. So I chose to work part-time back in higher education and went back to school (yet again) to get my masters degree in Counseling. I absolutely loved the program and worked with many clients on personal and professional issues.

While pregnant with my second child I decided I needed to make my life work in a way that was going to allow me to spend time with my children while also pursuing a career that I loved. This is how Life Coaching Designs was born. I figured what better way than to take my education and work experience and create a forum that would allow me to help improve people’s lives while improving mine at the same time.

So today, I am at home with two beautiful little girls while helping people change their lives. I couldn’t be any happier and I feel so fortunate to be able to currently live the life I only dreamt about.

I hope many of the topics I write about on this blog will help you in some way shape or form. I appreciate any and all of your feedback and hope that many of my posts will resonate with you and help you to live your best life!