Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Heart

Today I was on a call listening in on a topic about “Heartspace.” My initial first response was what exactly does “Heartspace” mean? Basically it means taking action from our hearts instead of our heads. For many of us, we spend so much time doing, doing, doing and taking action but most of the time it is not inspired action. We have the steps down and although they may be the “right” actions if we do not shift our energy none of that action is really going to lead us to the results we truly want. We need to get out of our headspace and into our heartspace. So my second thought was well how do we shift our energy and get into our heartspace. After more talk on the discussion and doing some research I found a few tips to help us shift our energy and allow us to step into our heartspace.

1) Meditate-quieting our mind is not always easy especially with our hectic busy lives but it is critical in order to live from our heart. Make a commitment to yourself to take at least 10-20 minutes each day to sit still and quiet your mind. Listen to your inner guidance and you will start living from your heart.

2) What’s your why? Why do you want the things you desire in life? What do you love about your life? What do you truly want? Reflect on these questions. Break it down to the smallest piece possible. Once you can truly figure out why you want the things you want you will then act from your heart. You will take inspired action instead of just action.

3) Get Creative-Tap into your creativity and engage in behavior that allows you to use your creative energy. When we are in our creative mode we feel good and are connecting with a higher source. Therefore, we are shifting our energy and living more in our heartspace.

4) Be Courageous-break down the fear behind your action or inaction. What beliefs or self-talk are limiting you? Face your fears and figure out how they are sabotaging you. Write down your fears including how they are serving you. Journal to discover the meaning behind them. Once you can understand how your fears are serving you, you can let them go and move closer into your heartspace.

5) Gratitude. Practice being grateful every single day for all that you have in your life and all that you wish to have. Expect it and be grateful as if you have already received it. Feelings of gratitude put you into a state of joy, love and peace. It also helps you discover more joy and kindness in the world. Live everyday from a state of gratitude and you will be living from your heart.

Hope these tips were helpful. Remember when we operate from our heartspace instead of our headspace we give and receive much more than we could ever imagine!!

What Are Your Energy Drains?

In light of my upcoming webinar Take Back Your Energy taking place on February 27th, I decided to write more on the topic of energy and talk about some things that leave us feeling tired. So what exactly are energy drainers? They are the tasks, to-do’s, environments, people, situations and other things in our lives that zap our liveliness, deplete us and leave us feeling physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Energy drainers are the choices we make that redirect our attention and decrease our vitality. Your physical energy is affected by the way you manage it, your mental energy reflect those to-do’s stored within your mind, and emotionally energy is influenced by how we deal with our inner feelings.

Do you have energy drainers in your life? The first step in restoring your vitality is to identify what is draining your energy. Once you have pinpointed these energy deficits you can then start to make changes and set boundaries that enlighten, restore and reenergize you. Below is a list of some common energy drainers. This list by all means is not comprehensive so please feel free to add other energy drainers you experience in your life.

• Cluttered work or home environment
• Not enough sleep
• Constant worry
• Take on too much
• Overbook or overscheduled yourself
• Little time for hobbies or other things you enjoy
• Lack of exercise
• Poor food choices
• Incomplete projects
• Failure to address problems or issues
• Allow issues to build up
• Failure to set clear boundaries
• Not allowing yourself to say “NO”
• Unorganized house
• Failure to clearly communicate your needs
• Stress at work
• Keeps a MENTAL to-do list
• A home environment that does not reflect who you are

Again the above list is only a sample of energy drainers. I challenge you to think about your own energy drains and ask yourself two questions: “What would be possible if I no longer was tolerating these drains in my life” AND “What am I currently doing to address my energy drains?”

If you would like to:

1) Learn to evaluate your energy
2) Eliminate energy drainers
3) Make yourself a top priority

then please join me in a coaching session via webinar that I am hosting on February 27th. Everyone who attends will receive a free workbook with additional exercises following the presentation. Click here to sign up: http://www.lifecoachingdesigns.com/Workshops.html

What Are You Tolerating?

After writing my last article at thecircle.org about tolerations in the workplace I was compelled to write more on the subject. So what exactly are tolerations? They are the things we are putting up with in our day to day lives that are zapping our energy and holding us back from living our best lives. For example, tolerations can be things such as a messy closet that needs organizing, a friend that is constantly late but we have yet to discuss the problem with them, a stack of papers that need to be filed, or situation that is causing us stress. Tolerations can include people, your environment, pressures, situations, expectations, your body, feelings, stress, problems and events. So what are your tolerations?

Make a list of 50 things you are tolerating. Brainstorm and post the list where you can see it every day (it may take a week or so to list everything). They can be big or small. List in all areas of your life: home, work, family, office, relationships, life & lifestyle, body & self-care, computer/equipment, money, and car. Be sure to list everything regardless of whether you feel you have a solution for them or not. Be sure not to put filters on them. Ask other’s to help you recognize your tolerations.

Next, write down this question “What would my life look like and feel like if I was not tolerating this?” When answering the question be sure to really picture what your life would be like. Would you have more room in your closet if you cleaned it up? More storage? What would that feel like to you? Would you feel like you had more control in life? What else can you do to be more in control of your life?

Now choose a few items that you are going to work on to create less tolerations in your life. Start with 2-4 items to work on. Make sure you choose things that make a big impact on your life and take it step by step. Don’t try to do too much too soon-ease into it and break it down into manageable parts.

Once you start to work on overcoming your tolerations you will start to see you have more energy, you are more creative and resourceful, less distractions and overall just a happier person. It is your life and you are in control-choose how you want to live it!!

What Is Your Life’s Purpose

After writing my last article “When Your Dream Job Isn’t Enough” I decided to expand on one of the tips mentioned. The basis of the article is about finding your life’s purpose. And below is an insert from my article:

Free write and answer this question “What is my mission or purpose in life?” Free writing is writing for a period of time about 10-20 minutes and writing whatever comes to your mind. You do not correct any errors or think about what you are writing but simply write what comes to mind. After completing this exercise read through your responses. Most likely (especially after you go down the page a ways) you have written something that is profound and resonates inside of you. For some it can feel overpowering and for others it can bring tears to their eyes. In all likelihood this is your life’s purpose.

Free writing can be extremely powerful and provide answers that you have been searching for a while. You can write about any topic. Grab a sheet of paper or jump on your computer and write a title on the top of the page; it can be a one word title or a short sentence. Set your timer for 10 minutes (or use the clock on your computer screen). Next, just write without reading or judging what you are writing. The most important point to keep in mind is to keep writing without stopping. Even if you get stuck or are at a loss for words just write the same word over again or write: “I am stuck and can’t think of anything else to say.” Even if you get off topic that is okay too, you never know where this exercise is going take you. You can also write about how you are currently feeling, “I’m hungry,” “feeling hot,” etc. If you find you are having a difficult time concentrating try using soft relaxing music during this exercise or meditate beforehand.

Keep in mind you can free write on several different statements during the 10-20 minutes such as “What am I passionate about?”, “What is my life’s purpose,” and/or “What makes me truly happy?” Or you can use one statement such as “Who am I” and title several sheets of paper and free write on each sheet. Again there is no wrong way to free write as long as you are writing without stopping for a specified length of time.

Free writing allows you to stream your thoughts and ideas without censorship. The process itself can be invigorating and stimulate new perspectives. Finding your life’s purpose involves a great deal of soul searching however, beginning with simple exercises such as free writing can help get you started in the right direction!

Live Your Best Life

The above video inspired me to write more about Living Your Best Life! Although many of my blog posts fall under this category I thought it may be beneficial to write more on the topic itself.

There is no one right way to live YOUR best life. Living my best life is not going to be the same as living your best life. However, there are some core principles that many of us can live by to help create our ideal lives. Below are some activities and principles that can help you Live YOUR Best life.

• Get clear on what it is your want. Identify what it is your truly want out of life. Sit still and visualize what brings you joy and how you truly want to live your life.

• Meditate. If you do not or cannot meditate then make sure you take 20 minutes out of your day to quiet your mind.

• Write in a journal. Journaling can be a great place to help you release your worries and obsessions. It can help identify any fears and also passions. Journaling can tap into deeper layers to help you on your path of personal growth and development.

• Visualize. You can do this while you relax your mind-sit and think about your ideal life. Imagine what it would look and feel like. Experience the happiness that you feel when thinking about the wonderful things you currently have in your life or in the future.

• Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Think of constructive thoughts that can replace negative thoughts. Keep in mind when you look at your situation it may not be as bad as you thought or you may not be to blame. You can say things like: “At least I did something”, “nobody’s perfect”, “what happened is not entirely my fault” and “Every cloud has a silver lining.”

• Improve your self-confidence. Identify things you are proud of and/or have successfully achieved. List out your best characteristics.

• Define your passion. What are you passionate about? What do you ABSOLUTELY have to have in your life to feel whole and complete?

• Identify the blockages in your life and then learn to overcome them. Find out what is preventing you from reaching that goal or taking the next step. Is it fear? If so learn to get comfortable with fear and become aware of what it feels like (does your blood pressure rise, stomach in knots, heart pounding etc.). FULLY experience your resistance. When those little sayings in your head start creeping in such as “I can’t do this” or “I am not good enough to have that” learn to stop it dead in tracks and replace it with “I can.” Be consciously aware of your fears.

• Create a vision board and post it where you can view it every day. Create a board filled with pictures of your ideal life. Cut pictures and words out of magazines, draw pictures or print out photos from the internet. Looking at pictures creates imagines in our mind. Vision boards can help us get what we want out of life!

• Live by your values. Make a list of values and be sure to honor them. Make sure your decisions are based on your values to ensure you are living in accordance with who you are.

• Set goals and be sure you have an environment set up to help achieve your goals. Make sure your family is on board and remember to let people know about your goals-they can help push you when you need it. Make sure your work and home environment is equipped with the right tools.

• Surround yourself with positive people. The positive energy that radiates from people who are joyful and optimistic will send out vibrations that will permeate within you.

• Eliminate negativity out of your life-negative people, negative news, negative environments, negative substances, etc.

• Learn to balance your time. Identify what areas of your life need more balance and start taking proactive steps to create balance. Not all areas have to be equal but balance is key to living a healthy life!

The above list is by no means comprehensive but if you can take a few of these principles and apply them to your life I can bet you will start seeing positive changes. When you live your life in accordance with who you a shift occurs and energy starts to flow to help attract YOUR best life!

Be All That You Can Be

Many of us have heard this slogan “Be All That You Can Be.” Created by the U.S. Army and used for recruiting purposes.

Basically, the slogan challenges a person to become all that he/she is capable of becoming. Growing up in a military family I have heard this phrase more than once but never really gave it much thought. Maybe I was just too young at that time to really give much attention to the saying?

However, now that I am older and designing my best life I revisited this saying and reflected more on what it means. Becoming a person that one has the potential to become is what I get from this slogan. I thought about what one needs to do to help be all that he or she can be.

The number one factor that I keep coming back to is values! In order to be all that you can be you MUST live your life according to your values. You must get clear on who you are and live in accordance with this. Although I have written a blog post on identifying your values I think it is important to reiterate a few vital points.

The first step in identifying your values is taking time out to reflect. Write down what comes to mind. Just write without editing or over analyzing. Write words or phrases that you feel represent who you are. If you find it difficult to come up with values then answer a few questions such as:

• What are you truly passionate about?
• What does having a full or whole life look like to you?
• What is missing from your life? What would make your life more satisfying?
• What is your definition of success?
• What would you like others to say about your at the end of your life? What would you like
to say about yourself?

If you are still finding it difficult to pinpoint your values after answering these questions reflect on a special time in your life. What was going on and why was it so special? What was happening? What were the values that were being honored during that time? There was probably an event or moment in your life that made you feel good. Most likely, you were in tune with who you are therefore honoring your values. Think about the important things or feelings that were present during this special time.

After determining your values, make a list and prioritize them. Rank order them in importance and check either yes or no if you feel you are currently living in accordance with your values. If so list the ways you are honoring your values.

Lastly, make a list and keep it with you at all times (purse or wallet). Be sure to look at it at least once a day. Any decisions that you need to make especially BIG decisions make sure you think about your values. Any or all decisions made in accordance with your values ensures you are living a full rich life. Be true to yourself so you can BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE!!!

How Do We Balance It All?

I am not sure about you but some days I feel like tearing my hair out. Between working my business and juggling the demands of two young children I feel like nothing ever gets done. I am always in between tasks and rarely do I fully complete a task. Whether it is finishing up a work task, cleaning the house (which rarely gets done), or spending quality time with my children it is never at 100%.

Even as I write this post I’ve run upstairs three times to put my 3 month old daughter back to sleep for her nap. Now I am counting the minutes before my other daughter wakes up and starts her demands -hopefully not before I finish this post…..

So what about you? Do you feel like you have a good handle on juggling all your tasks? Or is it tough balancing work demands and life responsibilities? Well I am sure many of us are in the same boat and although we may not share the same exact set up at work or at home, many of us are still struggling to make it all work somehow.

How can we bring more balance back into our lives? How can we restore that control and start enjoying our lives more? I talk about life balance with my clients frequently. I need to start taking my own advice. Life balance does not necessarily mean that every aspect of your life should be equal, but instead to have control that allows you to prioritize, make progress and feel a sense of calmness in our everyday lives. Below are some tips that can help bring more balance back into our lives!

• Time Management. It is vital to prioritize our schedules because everything is not going to get done. Then accept this fact and make peace with it.

• Awareness. Be aware of what is happening around you. Whether it is at work or at home be present. You will be amaze at how much you THINK you need to do versus what actually is essential.

• Let Go. Let go of the idea that you HAVE to do this or do that. Let go of extra activities in your life that just are not that important. Sit down and reflect on what matters to you and cut out those unnecessary tasks, events, engagements etc. that do not fall under your “What Truly Matters” list.

• Respect The Different Aspects In Your Life. Whether it is family, work, or play have a time and place for everything. If you use a day planner, schedule in time for the various aspects in your life. You don’t have to give one area 100% or many areas only 10%. Instead, be aware of when it is time to stop working and then move on to spending time with family or engaging in a fun activity.

• Set Boundaries. If you work from home then be sure to set rules of when its work time, family time or play time. If you work in an office be sure to cut out any unnecessary “stuff” like chatting too much with co-workers; you will remain more focused, complete your work in a more timely manner and leave the office at a decent time.

• Just Say NO! Protect your time. It’s precious. If certain obligations or tasks do not fit into your life learn how to say no. Many of us over schedule or overextend ourselves and it is just not fair to ourselves or our families.

Well hope these tips were helpful and can help bring more balance back into your life. I know for me it was a good reminder and something I will follow from here on out. Please be sure to share other ways on how you balance your life!

(by the way just in case you were wondering I did finish this post before the kids woke up!!)

The Power of Visualization

How many times have we heard THINK positively about it?… Especially if you are a believer in the “law of attraction” and have read or watched “the secret” you have learned about the power of visualization. Basically, it says our thoughts are our physical reality. What we are thinking is what we are attracting into our lives. It is a universal law. Below is an insert from my June newsletter explaining more about visualization.

Images

Whatever you are attracting into your life is through the images you are holding your head. Basically, it is what you are thinking. The law of attraction is forming your life experience and it is doing this through your thoughts. So even if you’re thinking about what you DON’T want you are still going to attract it. That’s because the universe does not decipher between do, don’t, yes, no etc. So if you say “I don’t want to be late to another appointment”-the law of attraction is receiving a message that says “I want to be late.”

So the reverse is true too. As you hold an image in your mind such as living in abundance you are now consciously determining your life. When you focus on something you want, you hold that focus and things will manifest out of those thoughts. The law is reflecting and giving back to you exactly what you are focusing on with your thoughts.

An important point to note here is that images alone are not going to create the life you desire. You must take action and be committed to creating your ideal life. These actions will soon become habits which will help change our reality. However, visualization is a starting point and without images many of the things you want simply cannot manifest.

It is the power within you that enables you to create the images of what you desire. Your commitment and will must be steady in order for this picture to project. There are no limits to visualization except the limitations we put on ourselves!

Below are some tips that can help with visualization.

• Be sure to stay open-minded. Again WE put limits on ourselves no one else. Possibilities exist where you never imagined. Visualize the “impossible” (or at least what you think is impossible-because nothing really is).

• Go to a quiet place, relax your body and close your eyes (for some Meditate). Visualize with all five of your senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell.

• Don’t get caught up on where this or that will come from. The universe works is diverse ways. Just think about what it is you want and do not think about where it may come from.

• Be sure to define your goal. Clearly outline what is you want. If you only visualize that you want to be in a relationship with someone but fail to identify characteristics you will only get what you visualize. You may meet someone and form a relationship but may realize they were not what you were REALLY looking for. Be specific.

• Feel confident that only good will come from your visualization.

• Stay positive. Even when you aware that negative thoughts are entering your mind replace them with positive thoughts. This will allow the universe to continue working in your favor.

• Don’t get caught up “visualizing” something. All of us are different and some are more auditory or kinesthetic and others are visually oriented. Stay with works best for you and how you use your imagination.

Hope these tips are helpful! The process of visualizing is POWEFUL-be sure to do it twice a day to create your BEST LIFE!

“Don’t Worry Be Happy”

Okay so I have been on a hiatus for a little while but now I am devoted to getting back into the swing of things. I had a baby 3 months ago so I have been SUPER busy with a newborn-anyone that has kids knows exactly what I mean. I have also been posting weekly blogs at The Circle because I am a mentor under the “boost your career” circle. One of my previous blog post was about being happy feel free to check it out: http://www.thecircle.org/happy-works

Although I mostly post about career stuff at The Circle I will continue to post about careers in this blog as well as other topics about living your best life (personal development). As a life coach who also focuses on career coaching I find that the two go hand and hand and its difficult to just focus on one aspect. Because our careers are such a big part of our lives it is hard to separate our lives and our career-so many aspects of each part overlap and it is difficult to work on one piece without working on the other.

So with that said, I would like to talk a little more about being happy. Since I recently wrote about being happy in the workplace I would like to touch on the topic of being “happy” in general…

So why does it seem that some people are happy no matter what and others couldn’t be happy even if they tried. Although these two examples are extreme opposites the fact of the matter is that some people are simply happier than others. What is it that makes some people joyful even when things aren’t going their way? Why are some people always so optimistic even when things around them seem to be falling to pieces? How can I be happy?

If you have asked yourself the above questions at some point and time then read below to find out how we all can be a little bit happier:

• Think happy thoughts-As mentioned before in my previous posts-your environment is a product of your thoughts. If you look around you and don’t like what you see then you need to think differently to live the live you want. We know that everything we put our attention on-good or bad-will show up in lives. Thinking happy thoughts allows you to create a happy environment because you are your thoughts. There is a domino effect with these happy thoughts and they are carried over into all areas of your life. Happy thoughts allow you to be in control and handle situations in an effective manner producing successful results. Therefore, you are designing your life by the way you handle life’s circumstances. Hopefully it’s a happy life!

• Help others-Helping others through volunteering your time at local shelters, charities or other community events can help put you in a happier state. As many of us are aware-helping others makes us feel good. It increases our self esteem knowing we are helping people live better lives and making this world a better place. Helping others makes us feel more connected and teaches us that we can make a big difference in people’s lives.

• Spend time with your children-As many parents are aware there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to really spend quality time with our kids. However, if we can make the time and really spend QUALITY time with our children many of us will feel happier. Making the choice to spend time with our children and engaging in fun activities can be energizing and help bring more joy into our lives.

• Exercise/Diet. Research has confirmed that endorphins are released during exercise that increases our mood. Exercise affects the brain to provide benefits such as mood enhancement. So if you are feeling down-go exercise. The same applies to diet and nutrition. What we put into our bodies through eating and drinking are chemicals which affect how we feel. Be wise about your food choices and eat/drink in moderation.

• Love yourself. Find time to sit down in a quiet place to reflect on how great you are! Think about all the wonderful things you have done or accomplishments and write it down. Times where you made a positive difference in someone’s life or just did something little that was helpful to someone else. Think about where you are today and write about your journey-how did you get to where you are today. Be sure to write it down and revisit every once in a while. We all need to be reminded of how wonderful each and everyone one of us are!

• Let it go. Learn to let it all go and stop comparing yourself to others. You travel your own unique path not someone else’s. Try to rid yourself of meeting other people’s expectations and be sure to only measure yourself by your own yardstick.

• Gratitude. Being thankful for all that you have in your life at this present moment and for all that is yet to come is quite powerful. The power of gratitude is an extremely high energy of positive vibrations. It brings your mind into closer harmony with creative positive energies of the universe. So be grateful and be happy!

• Avoid toxic people. Surround yourself with positive people. Stay away from those who drain you emotionally, mentally and physically. Their energy can easily become your energy-it is contagious so be aware of your environment.

Being happy is really a state a mind. Creating your own happiness comes from within and should not depend on anyone else. If we all take some time out to really reflect on some of the above points I believe we can all lead happier lives!

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ~H. Jackson Browne

Finding the Answers Within

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”~Carl Jung

How many of us have pondered over a question only to come up with no answer? I know I certainly have and at times it has been quite frustrating. We are seeking answers but for some reason we have a hard time finding them. Sometimes it feels like a struggle just to come up with something minimal. I may find an answer here and there but something tells me it is not the best answer. Maybe it is my inner voice telling me I have not found it yet, but do I listen? Not always-I convince myself that it is the best I can find and then move on or distract myself with other things. But the reality is, there are better answers and only I have the key to unlock this potential. So how do we find the right answers? Below are some tips that can help us clear our minds to truly find what we are searching for.

• Quiet your mind. Sit down and take deep breathes or meditate. Let go of any concerns, fears or worries and focus your attention inward.

• Ask yourself the question you are seeking answers for in different ways. It is difficult to find the answers if we are not asking the “right” question. Phrase it in another way. Post the question in different areas of your house, car, and work space. Looking at your question through different lenses and different environments may help bring more insight and allow a different perspective to develop.

• Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. This will allow you to open your heart and experience life in its fullest. Being in this positive space will attract more positive energy giving you the strength you need to find the right answers.

• Go with your gut or inner guidance. If something does not feel right then let it go. When you are open and willing to finding the right answers you will develop an ability to listen to your inner wisdom and know what feels right. This wisdom will provide all the answers you need, listen with your heart and stop rationalizing with your head.

• Trust the process. Although this may be new for you or feel a bit awkward, be sure to have faith and trust that what you are doing is the right thing. This may take time but after practicing these tips you should become better at filtering your own thoughts and becoming more self-aware.

I truly believe all of us have the answers within ourselves. Whether we are looking for more spiritual awareness, new career paths, better parenting, improved relationships, enhancing our health and/or our seeking our lives purpose we can all find the answers. Take time to be with yourself and cut out distractions. For some, looking inward is scary because we are afraid of what we might find or might remember about our pasts. But the most courageous thing you can do for yourself as well as your family and friends is to find the “right” answers and start living more fulfilling lives. Listen to your inner guidance!