For some of us we are taking action every single day but we are not seeing the results?? We are busy, busy, busy spending a lot of our time and energy in our busyness mode but are not moving anywhere fast. In fact, we are left feeling depleted and like a failure because at the end of day we feel we did not get it all done. But the truth is if we change our mindset, get clear on what it is we want and show up doing ALL that we can do we will start seeing different results. Getting clear, believing in what we are working toward and taking inspired action every day will allow us to create the life we envision. Below is an insert taken from The Science of Getting Rich which sums up efficient action.

“There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe. A thought in this substance produces the thing that is imaged by the thought. A person can form things in his thought, and, by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created. In order to do this, a person must pass from the competitive to the creative mind. He must form a clear mental picture of the things he wants, and must do -with faith and purpose -all that can be done each day, doing each separate thing in an efficient manner.”

If you are would like The Science of Getting Rich e-book feel free to sign up for Design Your Best Life Newsletter and receive it free. Click here to get your copy: http://www.lifecoachingdesigns.com/Resources/newsletter.html

Or email me at erin@lifecoachingdesigns.com for a copy.

1) Meditate-quieting our mind is not always easy especially with our hectic busy lives but it is critical in order to live from our heart. Make a commitment to yourself to take at least 10-20 minutes each day to sit still and quiet your mind. Listen to your inner guidance and you will start living from your heart.

2) What’s your why? Why do you want the things you desire in life? What do you love about your life? What do you truly want? Reflect on these questions. Break it down to the smallest piece possible. Once you can truly figure out why you want the things you want you will then act from your heart. You will take inspired action instead of just action.

3) Get Creative-Tap into your creativity and engage in behavior that allows you to use your creative energy. When we are in our creative mode we feel good and are connecting with a higher source. Therefore, we are shifting our energy and living more in our heartspace.

4) Be Courageous-break down the fear behind your action or inaction. What beliefs or self-talk are limiting you? Face your fears and figure out how they are sabotaging you. Write down your fears including how they are serving you. Journal to discover the meaning behind them. Once you can understand how your fears are serving you, you can let them go and move closer into your heartspace.

5) Gratitude. Practice being grateful every single day for all that you have in your life and all that you wish to have. Expect it and be grateful as if you have already received it. Feelings of gratitude put you into a state of joy, love and peace. It also helps you discover more joy and kindness in the world. Live everyday from a state of gratitude and you will be living from your heart.

Hope these tips were helpful. Remember when we operate from our heartspace instead of our headspace we give and receive much more than we could ever imagine!!

Another great way to help create balance in your life is to make it a priority. In helping to make this a priority a company I currently work for called Compass is offering a 12-week challenge that will help bring balance back into your life! The challenge is called the “Remodel Your Reality Compass Challenge” and it includes:

• 12-week life coaching program designed to help you achieve success
• Daily online audio coaching with leading authors and experts
• A Personal Development Network (PDN) to help keep track of your progress
• FREE for the first 5 days

If you are interested in learning how you can bring balance back into your life click on the link below to get started! If you would like more information regarding this challenge or about the affordable group coaching programs I offer please contact me at: erin@lifecoachingdesigns.com or visit my compass site at: http://www.mylifecompass.com/coacherin

Remodel Your Reality Compass Challenge

Do you have energy drainers in your life? The first step in restoring your vitality is to identify what is draining your energy. Once you have pinpointed these energy deficits you can then start to make changes and set boundaries that enlighten, restore and reenergize you. Below is a list of some common energy drainers. This list by all means is not comprehensive so please feel free to add other energy drainers you experience in your life.

• Cluttered work or home environment
• Not enough sleep
• Constant worry
• Take on too much
• Overbook or overscheduled yourself
• Little time for hobbies or other things you enjoy
• Lack of exercise
• Poor food choices
• Incomplete projects
• Failure to address problems or issues
• Allow issues to build up
• Failure to set clear boundaries
• Not allowing yourself to say “NO”
• Unorganized house
• Failure to clearly communicate your needs
• Stress at work
• Keeps a MENTAL to-do list
• A home environment that does not reflect who you are

Again the above list is only a sample of energy drainers. I challenge you to think about your own energy drains and ask yourself two questions: “What would be possible if I no longer was tolerating these drains in my life” AND “What am I currently doing to address my energy drains?”

If you would like to:

1) Learn to evaluate your energy
2) Eliminate energy drainers
3) Make yourself a top priority

then please join me in a coaching session via webinar that I am hosting on February 27th. Everyone who attends will receive a free workbook with additional exercises following the presentation. Click here to sign up: http://www.lifecoachingdesigns.com/Workshops.html

By Joseph & Viola Twelves

Perhaps you are one of the many people who have found yourself stuck in a rut and not sure how to even begin to dig yourself out of it.

One of the most common “ruts” that we end up in deals with our choice of profession or career. It’s something that, unfortunately, is often inevitable. Why? Because most of us didn’t have the guidance necessary growing up to help us make the best decision nor did we put the work into making that decision.
During those pivotal years of “growing up” it is normal to be more concerned about the contents of the vending machines in the cafeteria than the contents of our permanent school records. With that said, it’s important to have fun in the present while remembering that we have a long future ahead of us – a future that will seem even longer if we’re dragging our feet through a workday we can barely stand.

If you have found yourself in this situation, like countless others, here are 3 things to ponder as starting points to help dig yourself out of your situation:

1) Priorities / Likes / Dislikes: Get out a piece of paper and literally write down things you enjoy doing and hate doing. Get as detailed as you would like and cover anything from doing dishes to working with special needs children. Also, write a realistic list of your priorities and the things that you need for yourself and/or your family.

2) Ask Around: Talk to your peers, neighbors, friends and relatives about what they do. I don’t mean “How’s work going?” but really ask about what their job entails, their daily responsibilities, and what they enjoy (or dislike) about their job.

3) Reflect: Ponder and reflect about the things that you have learned about yourself and the potential professions that surround you. Think about these things in a quiet place. This is something that is not practiced enough and can really lead you to discovering important things about yourself that you didn’t take the time to realize before.

You might think career planning is a bore, but that process is downright thrilling compared to spending forty years in a career meant for someone else. It’s true that it takes work to find out what the best fit is for you, but it’s well worth the journey. Join the conversation, find even more resources to help you on your journey, and start getting yourself out of that rut!

Van Twelves and his family are the creators, writers and editors of the ultimate career resource guide Conversations: Find Your Niche!. They worked together for almost a decade on this family project that includes 150 interviews with working professionals, a research roadmap to guide you through, and countless resources to save you months of research. Their desire is to help people find the career best fit for them to help them find happiness in their work and life. Conversations: Find Your Niche! can be purchased at Amazon.com and the Twelves family can be reached via email at JoeTwelves@keeperpress.com as well as on Twitter @KeeperPress.

Make a list of 50 things you are tolerating. Brainstorm and post the list where you can see it every day (it may take a week or so to list everything). They can be big or small. List in all areas of your life: home, work, family, office, relationships, life & lifestyle, body & self-care, computer/equipment, money, and car. Be sure to list everything regardless of whether you feel you have a solution for them or not. Be sure not to put filters on them. Ask other’s to help you recognize your tolerations.

Next, write down this question “What would my life look like and feel like if I was not tolerating this?” When answering the question be sure to really picture what your life would be like. Would you have more room in your closet if you cleaned it up? More storage? What would that feel like to you? Would you feel like you had more control in life? What else can you do to be more in control of your life?

Now choose a few items that you are going to work on to create less tolerations in your life. Start with 2-4 items to work on. Make sure you choose things that make a big impact on your life and take it step by step. Don’t try to do too much too soon-ease into it and break it down into manageable parts.

Once you start to work on overcoming your tolerations you will start to see you have more energy, you are more creative and resourceful, less distractions and overall just a happier person. It is your life and you are in control-choose how you want to live it!!

As a coach, I often do homework inquiries with my clients. What are homework inquiries? They are powerful questions asked in between our coaching calls to help clarify or find answers to what you are seeking. They are meant to be used as a reflection exercise to explore an important area of your life for a period of time. Many times I ask my clients to post this question around their house, office, car and other various locations. This is to ensure they are thinking about their question during different times of the day and in different environments. It’s amazing what you can uncover if your truly focus on this one question.

For some people, meditation produces the same results especially if you tend to meditate for long periods throughout the day. You may be the type of person who meditates for an hour first thing in the morning and then again for another hour in the afternoon and/or evening. For others, just taking the time to reflect on your question in the morning and again before going to bed is enough. Whatever format you choose to use in exploring your question just make sure it works for you.

So what are the right questions to ask to help in this discovery process? There are millions of questions to choose from and creating your own question can also be quite effective. As a coach, I believe every person has the answers within but may need the right environment or system in place to help locate those answers. Designing your own question may be your best option because on some level you already know what you are seeking. For others, using inquiries given to you can also be just as effective in tapping into your creativity. Below are a few of the homework inquiries I use:

• What do you have to have in your life to feel whole or fulfilled?
• What does success mean to you?
• If I were at my best, what would I do right now?
• What type of life would I be living if I honored my values?
• What keeps me from winning or succeeding?

After jotting your question down and reflecting on it for a week or so you can even take it even one step further. For example, let’s take the question “What does success mean to you?”

1) When you figure out what your definition of success is then jot down reasons why this is important to you.
2) Next, think about the things you are willing to give or give up to help create this “success.”
3) List the challenges or obstacles that may stand in your way of reaching this success.
4) Lastly, be sure to write out the steps you are going to take to make it happen!

So I ask you “what is your question?” What answers are you seeking? Where do you feel stuck in your life right now? Take time to reflect on this and try to create your own question. Remember the answers lie within it just takes focus and perseverance to find them!

Learning to be patient is not only important with children but in all areas of your life: work, marriage, school, relationships, money etc… The list can go on and on. What I have learned about patience is that it is a skill that requires A LOT of practice. Our first impulse with many things is to just do it, buy it, forget about it, etc.. But if we wait long enough our decision may change. For example, if I go into a store and see an item I want or “think” I need I can either buy it right there on the spot OR I can wait a week and see if I still want it. Chances are come the following week I will realize I probably don’t really need it and never end up getting it anyway.

Patience is skill because it requires practice, the use of new abilities and changing one’s mindset. It may require learning new techniques such as counting to ten to help control your temper or stepping away to give you a new perspective. Once we learn new techniques that can help us be more patient it is up to us to decide if we are going to use this new skill. When faced with a challenge or unplanned event we must decide how we want to respond to this new situation. We can blow up, get angry and storm away or we can take a step back, breathe and look at our situation in a new light. How we react has to do with both our skill set and decision making abilities.

Although some people are much more patient than others, I believe it is an area where all of us could use some improvement on in some way, shape or form. So below are a few suggestions on how we can become more patient.

• Alter the way you think about the situation. Instead of getting angry because you have to wait in line or wait for an appointment look at is as a gift and an opportunity to do something that you normally wouldn’t have the chance to do. It might be a good time to make your grocery list, figure out weekend plans, play a game, do a crossword or just a chance to be still and reflect.

• Plan accordingly. Keep in mind that things happen. Delays and setbacks are going to occur and the more you tell yourself this the better off you will be. Leave more than enough time when going somewhere because you never know what kind of traffic you will run into. Expect plans to change at a notice’s moment (especially if you have kids) and be willing to roll with the punches. Change your mindset and expect delays and setbacks to occur.

• Set limits. Many times we become impatient because we realize we are running out of time and not going to get everything done. Don’t set yourself up failure but rather be more conscious of time and only plan things that fit in. Trying to do too much in too little time is a recipe for disaster. Be mindful of your time, prioritize and schedule events/activities/tasks that are most important to you.

• Step away. When you feel your bodying clenching or going into a rage then walk away. Leave the room or area you are in for a few minutes and breathe. Count to ten and clear your mind. Just leaving the environment or situation can help you gain composure.

• Be patient with patience. Remind yourself why you are working so hard on becoming more patient. Are you trying to improve your relationships? Better health? Improved working conditions? Whatever it is constantly remind yourself of all the good things that come out of being patient. Instead of getting frustrated about an unplanned situation look at as an opportunity to practice your patience.

Well that’s it for now. Hope these tips are helpful and remind yourself that being patient requires practice and hard work. Don’t beat yourself up if you find you are being inpatient. Instead, learn from your mistake and make a commitment to handling it better next time! Please feel free to share ways or techniques you use to help improve your patience.

Two things happen when we are fearful making decisions: either we procrastinate and put off making the decision or we jump in feet first without giving much thought to the decision. Although sometimes we need to take that leap to get over the hump and face our fears, the fact of the matter is some consideration is required in order to make an effective decision.

When we let our emotions like fear get the best of us we make decisions without considering other alternatives and take the first thing that is offered. When our fear is so great, reality can be distorted forcing us to make unrealistic decisions. We may also find ways to distract ourselves so we do not have to face the fear or the harsh realities of making an effective decision.

So what can we do to help make a better decision? First and foremost, we must experience the fear and understand what it feels like. When we are find ourselves resisting a decision or making a quick decision we should stop, breathe and focus our attention on this fear. Be aware of what is happening physically in your body. Do you feel muscles tightened or a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach? Notice what you are thinking while you are experiencing this fear. What is your inner critic saying to you?

• “You aren’t working hard enough”
• “I am not good or smart enough”
• “You should be further along in your career”
• “You’re not attractive enough, wealthy enough, experienced enough, old enough etc.”
• “You’re too old, young, bald, aggressive, passive, introverted, extroverted etc.”

Take the time to notice how this fear affects your actions. Think about whether decisions you made in the past were out of fear. What was the end result? Journal about your fears to discover the meaning behind them. These negative fearful voices inside of us keep us from either completing tasks or successfully reaching our goals.

Experiencing our fears allows us to notice when it’s present and may even lessen as time goes on. Although we may not 100% be able to rid ourselves from fear we can become more aware of it therefore allowing us to have more control over it. We can think through our decisions in a more methodical manner instead of making irrational decisions. Lastly, experiencing our fear and making the decision to do it anyway can be empowering!

As someone who has experienced a toxic boss myself, its heartbreaking listening to stories about the misery people are enduring due to their hostile work environments. This type of behavior has taken over some people’s lives and they fear going into work every day. Their boss’s mood determines their mood and they feel like they have to walk on pins and needles throughout the day. Absolutely by no means should anyone feel this way-at work or at home. Unfortunately this type of behavior has become the norm in some workplaces and is now considered “acceptable” behavior.

Although, I have listed some tips on the circle.org blog on how to deal with a toxic boss I thought it was important to point out the psychology behind a toxic boss. According to Newsweek “The Making of a Toxic Boss” they state: “Again they found that it’s the interaction of power and inadequacy that engenders abuse. Fast and Chen believe that this dynamic reinforces itself in the workplace, because people who gain power pressure themselves to perform at a higher level, and thus are more apt to feel inadequate in their powerful role. This threatens their ego, and they become defensive. Defensiveness often comes out in the form of insults or worse.

So what can you do about your toxic boss? According to Newsweek a “shot of self-worth” goes a long way in decreasing this toxic behavior. They go on to say that just a little praise was enough to reduce aggressive tendencies. In other words flatter your boss. However, too much flattery can be detrimental forcing your boss to lose touch with reality so know the right amount of flattery that will work on your boos and you may notice a much more pleasant work environment.