Life Coaching Designs Blog

What Is Your Life’s Purpose

After writing my last article “When Your Dream Job Isn’t Enough” I decided to expand on one of the tips mentioned. The basis of the article is about finding your life’s purpose. And below is an insert from my article:

Free write and answer this question “What is my mission or purpose in life?” Free writing is writing for a period of time about 10-20 minutes and writing whatever comes to your mind. You do not correct any errors or think about what you are writing but simply write what comes to mind. After completing this exercise read through your responses. Most likely (especially after you go down the page a ways) you have written something that is profound and resonates inside of you. For some it can feel overpowering and for others it can bring tears to their eyes. In all likelihood this is your life’s purpose.

Free writing can be extremely powerful and provide answers that you have been searching for a while. You can write about any topic. Grab a sheet of paper or jump on your computer and write a title on the top of the page; it can be a one word title or a short sentence. Set your timer for 10 minutes (or use the clock on your computer screen). Next, just write without reading or judging what you are writing. The most important point to keep in mind is to keep writing without stopping. Even if you get stuck or are at a loss for words just write the same word over again or write: “I am stuck and can’t think of anything else to say.” Even if you get off topic that is okay too, you never know where this exercise is going take you. You can also write about how you are currently feeling, “I’m hungry,” “feeling hot,” etc. If you find you are having a difficult time concentrating try using soft relaxing music during this exercise or meditate beforehand.

Keep in mind you can free write on several different statements during the 10-20 minutes such as “What am I passionate about?”, “What is my life’s purpose,” and/or “What makes me truly happy?” Or you can use one statement such as “Who am I” and title several sheets of paper and free write on each sheet. Again there is no wrong way to free write as long as you are writing without stopping for a specified length of time.

Free writing allows you to stream your thoughts and ideas without censorship. The process itself can be invigorating and stimulate new perspectives. Finding your life’s purpose involves a great deal of soul searching however, beginning with simple exercises such as free writing can help get you started in the right direction!

Live Your Best Life

The above video inspired me to write more about Living Your Best Life! Although many of my blog posts fall under this category I thought it may be beneficial to write more on the topic itself.

There is no one right way to live YOUR best life. Living my best life is not going to be the same as living your best life. However, there are some core principles that many of us can live by to help create our ideal lives. Below are some activities and principles that can help you Live YOUR Best life.

• Get clear on what it is your want. Identify what it is your truly want out of life. Sit still and visualize what brings you joy and how you truly want to live your life.

• Meditate. If you do not or cannot meditate then make sure you take 20 minutes out of your day to quiet your mind.

• Write in a journal. Journaling can be a great place to help you release your worries and obsessions. It can help identify any fears and also passions. Journaling can tap into deeper layers to help you on your path of personal growth and development.

• Visualize. You can do this while you relax your mind-sit and think about your ideal life. Imagine what it would look and feel like. Experience the happiness that you feel when thinking about the wonderful things you currently have in your life or in the future.

• Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Think of constructive thoughts that can replace negative thoughts. Keep in mind when you look at your situation it may not be as bad as you thought or you may not be to blame. You can say things like: “At least I did something”, “nobody’s perfect”, “what happened is not entirely my fault” and “Every cloud has a silver lining.”

• Improve your self-confidence. Identify things you are proud of and/or have successfully achieved. List out your best characteristics.

• Define your passion. What are you passionate about? What do you ABSOLUTELY have to have in your life to feel whole and complete?

• Identify the blockages in your life and then learn to overcome them. Find out what is preventing you from reaching that goal or taking the next step. Is it fear? If so learn to get comfortable with fear and become aware of what it feels like (does your blood pressure rise, stomach in knots, heart pounding etc.). FULLY experience your resistance. When those little sayings in your head start creeping in such as “I can’t do this” or “I am not good enough to have that” learn to stop it dead in tracks and replace it with “I can.” Be consciously aware of your fears.

• Create a vision board and post it where you can view it every day. Create a board filled with pictures of your ideal life. Cut pictures and words out of magazines, draw pictures or print out photos from the internet. Looking at pictures creates imagines in our mind. Vision boards can help us get what we want out of life!

• Live by your values. Make a list of values and be sure to honor them. Make sure your decisions are based on your values to ensure you are living in accordance with who you are.

• Set goals and be sure you have an environment set up to help achieve your goals. Make sure your family is on board and remember to let people know about your goals-they can help push you when you need it. Make sure your work and home environment is equipped with the right tools.

• Surround yourself with positive people. The positive energy that radiates from people who are joyful and optimistic will send out vibrations that will permeate within you.

• Eliminate negativity out of your life-negative people, negative news, negative environments, negative substances, etc.

• Learn to balance your time. Identify what areas of your life need more balance and start taking proactive steps to create balance. Not all areas have to be equal but balance is key to living a healthy life!

The above list is by no means comprehensive but if you can take a few of these principles and apply them to your life I can bet you will start seeing positive changes. When you live your life in accordance with who you a shift occurs and energy starts to flow to help attract YOUR best life!

Be All That You Can Be

Many of us have heard this slogan “Be All That You Can Be.” Created by the U.S. Army and used for recruiting purposes.

Basically, the slogan challenges a person to become all that he/she is capable of becoming. Growing up in a military family I have heard this phrase more than once but never really gave it much thought. Maybe I was just too young at that time to really give much attention to the saying?

However, now that I am older and designing my best life I revisited this saying and reflected more on what it means. Becoming a person that one has the potential to become is what I get from this slogan. I thought about what one needs to do to help be all that he or she can be.

The number one factor that I keep coming back to is values! In order to be all that you can be you MUST live your life according to your values. You must get clear on who you are and live in accordance with this. Although I have written a blog post on identifying your values I think it is important to reiterate a few vital points.

The first step in identifying your values is taking time out to reflect. Write down what comes to mind. Just write without editing or over analyzing. Write words or phrases that you feel represent who you are. If you find it difficult to come up with values then answer a few questions such as:

• What are you truly passionate about?
• What does having a full or whole life look like to you?
• What is missing from your life? What would make your life more satisfying?
• What is your definition of success?
• What would you like others to say about your at the end of your life? What would you like
to say about yourself?

If you are still finding it difficult to pinpoint your values after answering these questions reflect on a special time in your life. What was going on and why was it so special? What was happening? What were the values that were being honored during that time? There was probably an event or moment in your life that made you feel good. Most likely, you were in tune with who you are therefore honoring your values. Think about the important things or feelings that were present during this special time.

After determining your values, make a list and prioritize them. Rank order them in importance and check either yes or no if you feel you are currently living in accordance with your values. If so list the ways you are honoring your values.

Lastly, make a list and keep it with you at all times (purse or wallet). Be sure to look at it at least once a day. Any decisions that you need to make especially BIG decisions make sure you think about your values. Any or all decisions made in accordance with your values ensures you are living a full rich life. Be true to yourself so you can BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE!!!

How Do We Balance It All?

I am not sure about you but some days I feel like tearing my hair out. Between working my business and juggling the demands of two young children I feel like nothing ever gets done. I am always in between tasks and rarely do I fully complete a task. Whether it is finishing up a work task, cleaning the house (which rarely gets done), or spending quality time with my children it is never at 100%.

Even as I write this post I’ve run upstairs three times to put my 3 month old daughter back to sleep for her nap. Now I am counting the minutes before my other daughter wakes up and starts her demands -hopefully not before I finish this post…..

So what about you? Do you feel like you have a good handle on juggling all your tasks? Or is it tough balancing work demands and life responsibilities? Well I am sure many of us are in the same boat and although we may not share the same exact set up at work or at home, many of us are still struggling to make it all work somehow.

How can we bring more balance back into our lives? How can we restore that control and start enjoying our lives more? I talk about life balance with my clients frequently. I need to start taking my own advice. Life balance does not necessarily mean that every aspect of your life should be equal, but instead to have control that allows you to prioritize, make progress and feel a sense of calmness in our everyday lives. Below are some tips that can help bring more balance back into our lives!

• Time Management. It is vital to prioritize our schedules because everything is not going to get done. Then accept this fact and make peace with it.

• Awareness. Be aware of what is happening around you. Whether it is at work or at home be present. You will be amaze at how much you THINK you need to do versus what actually is essential.

• Let Go. Let go of the idea that you HAVE to do this or do that. Let go of extra activities in your life that just are not that important. Sit down and reflect on what matters to you and cut out those unnecessary tasks, events, engagements etc. that do not fall under your “What Truly Matters” list.

• Respect The Different Aspects In Your Life. Whether it is family, work, or play have a time and place for everything. If you use a day planner, schedule in time for the various aspects in your life. You don’t have to give one area 100% or many areas only 10%. Instead, be aware of when it is time to stop working and then move on to spending time with family or engaging in a fun activity.

• Set Boundaries. If you work from home then be sure to set rules of when its work time, family time or play time. If you work in an office be sure to cut out any unnecessary “stuff” like chatting too much with co-workers; you will remain more focused, complete your work in a more timely manner and leave the office at a decent time.

• Just Say NO! Protect your time. It’s precious. If certain obligations or tasks do not fit into your life learn how to say no. Many of us over schedule or overextend ourselves and it is just not fair to ourselves or our families.

Well hope these tips were helpful and can help bring more balance back into your life. I know for me it was a good reminder and something I will follow from here on out. Please be sure to share other ways on how you balance your life!

(by the way just in case you were wondering I did finish this post before the kids woke up!!)

The Power of Visualization

How many times have we heard THINK positively about it?… Especially if you are a believer in the “law of attraction” and have read or watched “the secret” you have learned about the power of visualization. Basically, it says our thoughts are our physical reality. What we are thinking is what we are attracting into our lives. It is a universal law. Below is an insert from my June newsletter explaining more about visualization.

Images

Whatever you are attracting into your life is through the images you are holding your head. Basically, it is what you are thinking. The law of attraction is forming your life experience and it is doing this through your thoughts. So even if you’re thinking about what you DON’T want you are still going to attract it. That’s because the universe does not decipher between do, don’t, yes, no etc. So if you say “I don’t want to be late to another appointment”-the law of attraction is receiving a message that says “I want to be late.”

So the reverse is true too. As you hold an image in your mind such as living in abundance you are now consciously determining your life. When you focus on something you want, you hold that focus and things will manifest out of those thoughts. The law is reflecting and giving back to you exactly what you are focusing on with your thoughts.

An important point to note here is that images alone are not going to create the life you desire. You must take action and be committed to creating your ideal life. These actions will soon become habits which will help change our reality. However, visualization is a starting point and without images many of the things you want simply cannot manifest.

It is the power within you that enables you to create the images of what you desire. Your commitment and will must be steady in order for this picture to project. There are no limits to visualization except the limitations we put on ourselves!

Below are some tips that can help with visualization.

• Be sure to stay open-minded. Again WE put limits on ourselves no one else. Possibilities exist where you never imagined. Visualize the “impossible” (or at least what you think is impossible-because nothing really is).

• Go to a quiet place, relax your body and close your eyes (for some Meditate). Visualize with all five of your senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell.

• Don’t get caught up on where this or that will come from. The universe works is diverse ways. Just think about what it is you want and do not think about where it may come from.

• Be sure to define your goal. Clearly outline what is you want. If you only visualize that you want to be in a relationship with someone but fail to identify characteristics you will only get what you visualize. You may meet someone and form a relationship but may realize they were not what you were REALLY looking for. Be specific.

• Feel confident that only good will come from your visualization.

• Stay positive. Even when you aware that negative thoughts are entering your mind replace them with positive thoughts. This will allow the universe to continue working in your favor.

• Don’t get caught up “visualizing” something. All of us are different and some are more auditory or kinesthetic and others are visually oriented. Stay with works best for you and how you use your imagination.

Hope these tips are helpful! The process of visualizing is POWEFUL-be sure to do it twice a day to create your BEST LIFE!

The Circle

Come join me at the Circle! I am a mentor under “Boost Your Career.” I post weekly career related blogs at the “Get Your Career Back on Track” circle. TheCircle.org is a goal-oriented social network with resources and support that can help you achieve your goals. You can meet other people with similar interests and find advice and encouragement to help you succeed. Once you register which is FREE you can ask questions and get advice on what steps to take to accomplish your goals. You can also be a member of several circles. Check out TheCircle.org here: http://www.thecircle.org/

Below is a list of blog posts from my cirle:

Work Kills
Challenge the Challenges
You Are NOT Your Career
Managing Career, Family and Other Life Roles
Get Your Plan On
Employers Plan to Hire
Brand Yourself for Career Success
Happy Works
What is Organizational Culture Anyway and How Do We Fit In?
Alternative Work Schedules
RIASEC-Understanding Career Environments
Do What You Are
The Value of Transferable Skills
Why Should I Hire You
Dealing With Career Change
How To Negotiate a Salary Offer
Interview Basics
Are You In The Right Job
Tips to Recession Proof Your Career
Generating Career Options
Creating an Effective Resume
Using Social Media in Your Job Search
Planning a Career Move
Career Challenges in Today’s Economy

About

Hi my name is Erin Suess (Coach Erin) creator of Life Coaching Designs. I am a life and career coach who helps people improve their personal and professional lives. My passion is to help guide individuals through a process of self-discovery that will un-lock their full potential and provide an environment for professional and personal development. Being that so much of what we do in our professional lives overlaps into our personal lives I address the WHOLE person. Although many of my clients seek me out to help make positive changes professionally we often work on other areas in their personal lives as well.

I have been working on improving people’s lives for over 12 years. I worked as an employment specialist for several years designing plans to help overcome employment difficulties and getting people’s lives back on track. I then moved into educational counseling and worked with individuals going back to school due to career changes. It was there in the higher education setting that I moved into management. I developed teams to produce at their highest potential by overcoming challenges and obstacles. As a manager I not only addressed professional development but worked with individuals on a personal level. As mentioned earlier, I found out long ago that you cannot address professional issues without dealing with the personal aspects as well.

During my time as a manager I went back to school to obtain my masters degree in Organizational Management. The information gained from my schooling was instrumental in leading productive teams and developing people both professionally and personally.

After having my first child I took a break from managing and decided to stay home for a year. It was during this time that I did a little soul searching and realized that I still wanted to continue helping people grow personally and professionally. However, I did not want to go back to working full-time for someone else-I wanted to help people on their terms without specific guidelines or rules from someone else. So I chose to work part-time back in higher education and went back to school (yet again) to get my masters degree in Counseling. I absolutely loved the program and worked with many clients on personal and professional issues.

While pregnant with my second child I decided I needed to make my life work in a way that was going to allow me to spend time with my children while also pursuing a career that I loved. This is how Life Coaching Designs was born. I figured what better way than to take my education and work experience and create a forum that would allow me to help improve people’s lives while improving mine at the same time.

So today, I am at home with two beautiful little girls while helping people change their lives. I couldn’t be any happier and I feel so fortunate to be able to currently live the life I only dreamt about.

I hope many of the topics I write about on this blog will help you in some way shape or form. I appreciate any and all of your feedback and hope that many of my posts will resonate with you and help you to live your best life!

“Don’t Worry Be Happy”

Okay so I have been on a hiatus for a little while but now I am devoted to getting back into the swing of things. I had a baby 3 months ago so I have been SUPER busy with a newborn-anyone that has kids knows exactly what I mean. I have also been posting weekly blogs at The Circle because I am a mentor under the “boost your career” circle. One of my previous blog post was about being happy feel free to check it out: http://www.thecircle.org/happy-works

Although I mostly post about career stuff at The Circle I will continue to post about careers in this blog as well as other topics about living your best life (personal development). As a life coach who also focuses on career coaching I find that the two go hand and hand and its difficult to just focus on one aspect. Because our careers are such a big part of our lives it is hard to separate our lives and our career-so many aspects of each part overlap and it is difficult to work on one piece without working on the other.

So with that said, I would like to talk a little more about being happy. Since I recently wrote about being happy in the workplace I would like to touch on the topic of being “happy” in general…

So why does it seem that some people are happy no matter what and others couldn’t be happy even if they tried. Although these two examples are extreme opposites the fact of the matter is that some people are simply happier than others. What is it that makes some people joyful even when things aren’t going their way? Why are some people always so optimistic even when things around them seem to be falling to pieces? How can I be happy?

If you have asked yourself the above questions at some point and time then read below to find out how we all can be a little bit happier:

• Think happy thoughts-As mentioned before in my previous posts-your environment is a product of your thoughts. If you look around you and don’t like what you see then you need to think differently to live the live you want. We know that everything we put our attention on-good or bad-will show up in lives. Thinking happy thoughts allows you to create a happy environment because you are your thoughts. There is a domino effect with these happy thoughts and they are carried over into all areas of your life. Happy thoughts allow you to be in control and handle situations in an effective manner producing successful results. Therefore, you are designing your life by the way you handle life’s circumstances. Hopefully it’s a happy life!

• Help others-Helping others through volunteering your time at local shelters, charities or other community events can help put you in a happier state. As many of us are aware-helping others makes us feel good. It increases our self esteem knowing we are helping people live better lives and making this world a better place. Helping others makes us feel more connected and teaches us that we can make a big difference in people’s lives.

• Spend time with your children-As many parents are aware there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to really spend quality time with our kids. However, if we can make the time and really spend QUALITY time with our children many of us will feel happier. Making the choice to spend time with our children and engaging in fun activities can be energizing and help bring more joy into our lives.

• Exercise/Diet. Research has confirmed that endorphins are released during exercise that increases our mood. Exercise affects the brain to provide benefits such as mood enhancement. So if you are feeling down-go exercise. The same applies to diet and nutrition. What we put into our bodies through eating and drinking are chemicals which affect how we feel. Be wise about your food choices and eat/drink in moderation.

• Love yourself. Find time to sit down in a quiet place to reflect on how great you are! Think about all the wonderful things you have done or accomplishments and write it down. Times where you made a positive difference in someone’s life or just did something little that was helpful to someone else. Think about where you are today and write about your journey-how did you get to where you are today. Be sure to write it down and revisit every once in a while. We all need to be reminded of how wonderful each and everyone one of us are!

• Let it go. Learn to let it all go and stop comparing yourself to others. You travel your own unique path not someone else’s. Try to rid yourself of meeting other people’s expectations and be sure to only measure yourself by your own yardstick.

• Gratitude. Being thankful for all that you have in your life at this present moment and for all that is yet to come is quite powerful. The power of gratitude is an extremely high energy of positive vibrations. It brings your mind into closer harmony with creative positive energies of the universe. So be grateful and be happy!

• Avoid toxic people. Surround yourself with positive people. Stay away from those who drain you emotionally, mentally and physically. Their energy can easily become your energy-it is contagious so be aware of your environment.

Being happy is really a state a mind. Creating your own happiness comes from within and should not depend on anyone else. If we all take some time out to really reflect on some of the above points I believe we can all lead happier lives!

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ~H. Jackson Browne

Finding the Answers Within

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”~Carl Jung

How many of us have pondered over a question only to come up with no answer? I know I certainly have and at times it has been quite frustrating. We are seeking answers but for some reason we have a hard time finding them. Sometimes it feels like a struggle just to come up with something minimal. I may find an answer here and there but something tells me it is not the best answer. Maybe it is my inner voice telling me I have not found it yet, but do I listen? Not always-I convince myself that it is the best I can find and then move on or distract myself with other things. But the reality is, there are better answers and only I have the key to unlock this potential. So how do we find the right answers? Below are some tips that can help us clear our minds to truly find what we are searching for.

• Quiet your mind. Sit down and take deep breathes or meditate. Let go of any concerns, fears or worries and focus your attention inward.

• Ask yourself the question you are seeking answers for in different ways. It is difficult to find the answers if we are not asking the “right” question. Phrase it in another way. Post the question in different areas of your house, car, and work space. Looking at your question through different lenses and different environments may help bring more insight and allow a different perspective to develop.

• Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. This will allow you to open your heart and experience life in its fullest. Being in this positive space will attract more positive energy giving you the strength you need to find the right answers.

• Go with your gut or inner guidance. If something does not feel right then let it go. When you are open and willing to finding the right answers you will develop an ability to listen to your inner wisdom and know what feels right. This wisdom will provide all the answers you need, listen with your heart and stop rationalizing with your head.

• Trust the process. Although this may be new for you or feel a bit awkward, be sure to have faith and trust that what you are doing is the right thing. This may take time but after practicing these tips you should become better at filtering your own thoughts and becoming more self-aware.

I truly believe all of us have the answers within ourselves. Whether we are looking for more spiritual awareness, new career paths, better parenting, improved relationships, enhancing our health and/or our seeking our lives purpose we can all find the answers. Take time to be with yourself and cut out distractions. For some, looking inward is scary because we are afraid of what we might find or might remember about our pasts. But the most courageous thing you can do for yourself as well as your family and friends is to find the “right” answers and start living more fulfilling lives. Listen to your inner guidance!

How do we Manage our Ever Changing Life Roles?

After writing my last article about Managing your Career with Changing Life Role Demands ,I was inspired to write a blog entry about life role demands. I think this is a topic that so many of us wrestle with especially in today’s world. With the turbulent economy, longer work hours, family demands and overall life challenges it is important to reflect on our life roles and how and when we play them.

When assessing my life roles I think about being a mother, wife, daughter, business owner, coach, learner, writer, and that’s about it I guess. There is one important life role that career theorist Donald Super identifies and that is leisurite, however these days I am not really partaking in any leisure activities-although I should be.

So when thinking about our roles and our satisfaction in our lives it is important to break down how much time we spend in our roles. Painting a realistic picture of how we spend our time and in what roles can help us create more balance in our lives. It can also help us reflect on whether we are living in accordance with our values. So what I did to help bring more perspective into my life was create a chart to breakdown my life roles. Below is a bar graph illustrating how much time I currently spend in each life role. Now this will change over time and of course changes on a daily basis but it gives you an idea.

What I noticed when doing this exercise was that it was extremely difficult to pinpoint the exact time in each life role. As many of us are aware, our life roles overlap and we have to wear several hats at once. In an ideal world it would be great if I could be a mother for a few hours, then a wife for a few hours, spend some time on my business for a few hours a day, and set aside a few hours a day for my learning. However, the world is not a perfect place and we have to juggle many roles at once; maybe that is why we become so overwhelmed at times?

For the sake of this exercise, I tried to do my best to make it clear cut as possible so I could formulate percentages. For example, when my daughter is in pre-school I am dedicating time toward my role as a business owner.

Overall, what I found is that it is difficult and can become frustrating balancing life role demands. I find myself getting stressed when I can’t complete one task before going on to the next task. It is aggravating and can cause internal conflict when my life roles become enmeshed. This role ambiguity does not allow me to leave one role before taking on a new role and at times can become overwhelming. The good news is now that I know where I spend my time I can accommodate based on different situations. I am more aware that I will have to make a mental shift when I switch in between roles and understand I may be in a few roles at once. So what can we do to help balance our life roles?

• Spell it out. First understand how much time you are spending in each role. This will give you an idea of the roles you employ and how you engage in each role (I used a bar graph but there are many ways you can keep track of your time spent in each role-whatever works best for you).

• Write it down. In the beginning it may be helpful to write down how much time you will dedicate to each role. For example, if I know I will be coaching a couple of clients in the week I will schedule the time in as a “coach” for a few hours that week, then schedule time for learning opportunities as a “learner.” To ensure quality time with my child and spouse I will schedule time in as a “mother” and “wife.” Although this could be difficult because of the overlapping roles it still would benefit us to list it out on paper and try to stick to our schedule as much as possible.

• Manage your time. Learn to organize and manage your time as efficiently as possible so less role intertwining will occur.

• Values. Take into consideration your values when examining your roles. It is vital that we are living in accordance with our values to help bring more harmony into our lives.
Well, hope my example and tips are helpful. I know it has helped me so far and I will continue participating in these activities to help create more balance. Feel free to leave any comments about your thoughts regarding life roles and how you balance or don’t balance your life roles.