Designing Your Best Life
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  • Do You Make Decisions Out Of Fear?

    Posted on October 28th, 2009 Coach Erin 3 comments

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    After writing about going back to school during a recession in my latest post on thecircle.org I was compelled to write more on my last point in the post. Basically, I discussed making a decision to return school based on fear. Many of us are panicked right now due to the economic downturn therefore we are making decisions out of fear. We may not realize it at the time but making decisions out of fear not only disregards our values but causes discontent in the long run.

    Two things happen when we are fearful making decisions: either we procrastinate and put off making the decision or we jump in feet first without giving much thought to the decision. Although sometimes we need to take that leap to get over the hump and face our fears, the fact of the matter is some consideration is required in order to make an effective decision.

    When we let our emotions like fear get the best of us we make decisions without considering other alternatives and take the first thing that is offered. When our fear is so great, reality can be distorted forcing us to make unrealistic decisions. We may also find ways to distract ourselves so we do not have to face the fear or the harsh realities of making an effective decision.

    So what can we do to help make a better decision? First and foremost, we must experience the fear and understand what it feels like. When we are find ourselves resisting a decision or making a quick decision we should stop, breathe and focus our attention on this fear. Be aware of what is happening physically in your body. Do you feel muscles tightened or a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach? Notice what you are thinking while you are experiencing this fear. What is your inner critic saying to you?

    • “You aren’t working hard enough”
    • “I am not good or smart enough”
    • “You should be further along in your career”
    • “You’re not attractive enough, wealthy enough, experienced enough, old enough etc.”
    • “You’re too old, young, bald, aggressive, passive, introverted, extroverted etc.”

    Take the time to notice how this fear affects your actions. Think about whether decisions you made in the past were out of fear. What was the end result? Journal about your fears to discover the meaning behind them. These negative fearful voices inside of us keep us from either completing tasks or successfully reaching our goals.

    Experiencing our fears allows us to notice when it’s present and may even lessen as time goes on. Although we may not 100% be able to rid ourselves from fear we can become more aware of it therefore allowing us to have more control over it. We can think through our decisions in a more methodical manner instead of making irrational decisions. Lastly, experiencing our fear and making the decision to do it anyway can be empowering!